YOU CAN ONLY GIVE WHAT IS INSIDE YOU. DR WAYNE DYER, THE FATHER OF MOTIVATION. 

I love oranges – so much that I buy them by several dozens at a time.

But I looked at an orange as just a delicious fruit to eat until I recently listened to a talk by Dr Wayne Dyer.

Here is Dr Dyer’s talk paraphrased in my words:

Me: Imagine that you are holding an orange in your hand. If you squeeze it, what will come out?

You: Orange juice.

Me: Any chance that apple or mango or grape or any juice other than orange may come out?

You: No

Me: Why is that?

You: Because it is an orange and it has orange juice.

Me: Are you sure?

You: Yes, of course

Me: What if someone else squeezes it? Will a different juice come out? May be apple juice?

You: Obviously Not! (You are allowed to think I am crazy because everyone knows that only orange juice comes out of an orange.)

Me: What if the orange is not squeezed by hand? What if you use a juicer or a food processor?

You: Still orange juice….because that is what is inside this fruit. (You are confident that I have lost my head completely; I don’t blame you!)

Me: What if you don’t like the juice that comes out of this orange? What if you would rather have apple juice?

You: I will have to change the fruit, and squeeze juice out of an apple.

Me: Any chance that you could replace orange juice with apple juice inside an orange?

You: No, because an orange gives orange juice and no matter whether I like the juice that comes out of it, it will give orange juice and that’s it. If I want apple juice, I will need to squeeze juice out of an apple. 

Me: You are right. When someone (a person) or something (an event) squeezes (stresses or puts pressure) you (the orange) and you do not like the juice that comes out of it (your response in terms of thoughts, emotions and actions), should you try to control/change the gadget or the person squeezing the orange ? An orange cannot change the flavour of the juice inside it but surely a human being can. If you do not like your response, replace it with something that you like. You have a choice to choose your response irrespective of what the stress is or who is causing it. 

I must go and eat an orange now.

P.S.: This is an empowering concept in terms of personal transformation. Most of the people try to control the situations or other people, whether or not that is really feasible. What they forget is they can have a completely different experience if they choose a different response to the same situation. This concept holds good for all life situations as well as relationships. Coaching enables you to explore the options available to you.